she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sext me about skeletons
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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