Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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