Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
