Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
