if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
