last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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