took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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