also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
