We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
