I seem to have left my pride at pride
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Randomize
