I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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