Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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