Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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