some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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