Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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