i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
