so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
