And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
