If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
