Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
