HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
