he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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