I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
