Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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