Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
