K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
