Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
