The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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