She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
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four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
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She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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