dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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