I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
