I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
