Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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