Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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