Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
