I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Send help, water and tortillas.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
