tell your sister to shave her snatch
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
