Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
