ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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