The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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