Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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