I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
