My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
