I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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