I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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