your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
