Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's never too late to be topless.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
