yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
