yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
