Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize