Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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