6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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