so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
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Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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