you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
