I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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