My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
