is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I will die if light touches me.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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