saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
