I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
