its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
