And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
