Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
