Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
