Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time

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  (650): Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time http://tfl.nu/rwso
  Replies (3) Good night (1434) Bad night (515)
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  (650): View more from California

  Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.

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  (650): Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us. http://tfl.nu/ztab
  Replies (31) Good night (14028) Bad night (1083)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper

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  (803): we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper http://tfl.nu/mqbh
  Replies (13) Good night (5776) Bad night (2162)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.

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  (972): Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone. http://tfl.nu/2947
  Replies (4) Good night (1278) Bad night (2982)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.

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  (434): some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads. http://tfl.nu/zu14
  Replies (11) Good night (1144) Bad night (2397)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.

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  (616): She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs. http://tfl.nu/e8xn
  Replies (6) Good night (2031) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay

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  (916): I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay http://tfl.nu/vfh5
  Replies (13) Good night (1064) Bad night (2176)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  and you said he wasn't worth calling.

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  (515): he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer. (1-515): and you said he wasn't worth calling. http://tfl.nu/rvi9
  Replies (17) Good night (1942) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Your cock is gonna weep like a baby

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  (407): Your cock is gonna weep like a baby http://tfl.nu/ae0t
  Replies (13) Good night (1762) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.

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  (504): From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra. http://tfl.nu/w04v
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me

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  (573): I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me http://tfl.nu/p784
  Replies (14) Good night (1656) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."

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  (832): I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung." http://tfl.nu/1h35
  Replies (14) Good night (1856) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."

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  (901): I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking." http://tfl.nu/tuv1
  Replies (3) Good night (626) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it

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  (630): Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it http://tfl.nu/2jtg
  Replies (0) Good night (329) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."

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  (302): You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter." http://tfl.nu/rvq9
  Replies (1) Good night (600) Bad night (153)

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