Texts From Last Night

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  (+44): View more from England

  Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.

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  (+44): Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock. http://tfl.nu/vs51
  Replies (110) Good night (1248) Bad night (13729)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...

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  (717): If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one... http://tfl.nu/slb8
  Replies (23) Good night (6027) Bad night (832)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing

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  (917): Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing http://tfl.nu/ny0i
  Replies (8) Good night (980) Bad night (4325)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore

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  (732): My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore http://tfl.nu/2pmj
  Replies (38) Good night (5311) Bad night (1716)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.

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  (+44): There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this. http://tfl.nu/9lta
  Replies (6) Good night (2330) Bad night (1517)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll

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  (304): when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll http://tfl.nu/utzt
  Replies (9) Good night (3117) Bad night (1132)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night

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  (617): Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night http://tfl.nu/g4dq
  Replies (9) Good night (1443) Bad night (2623)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.

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  (816): I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water. http://tfl.nu/fay5
  Replies (10) Good night (1286) Bad night (2533)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.

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  (256): I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies. http://tfl.nu/fekw
  Replies (4) Good night (664) Bad night (1245)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.

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  (541): Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad. http://tfl.nu/nlxo
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (1351)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian

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  (204): Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian http://tfl.nu/540t
  Replies (8) Good night (514) Bad night (1728)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.

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  (859): He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it. (859): The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders. http://tfl.nu/g672
  Replies (4) Good night (741) Bad night (1290)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.

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  (520): He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down. http://tfl.nu/0sgk
  Replies (3) Good night (531) Bad night (368)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"

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  (630): I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?" http://tfl.nu/t0nn
  Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (325)
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  (310): View more from California

  i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy

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  (310): i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy http://tfl.nu/mmrh
  Replies (2) Good night (374) Bad night (641)

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