Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
